shadow

2015 - 2026

Once upon a time, a stray dog walked into my yard while I was picking roses. God blessed me, as that puppy became my shadow for for over a decade.

Yesterday’s sunrise (Friday the 13th) didn’t come with the notification that I would have to say goodbye to my baby, Shadow. 💔🐾
Shadow came into my life in the most unexpected and beautiful way. I was outside cutting roses to give to a grieving friend when I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and there he was — this huge, beautiful face standing there quietly. No idea how he got so close to me without making a sound! I was startled, but when I said “sit,” he did. He had no chip, and no one claimed him, and that was how I was instantly and unexpectedly, a dog mom.

Shadow gave me a good life. He protected me, loved me, was my companion, welcomed me home every single day and was such a smart boy. He comforted me. He prayed before he ate, he would allow me to “snooze” him (5 more minutes Shadow) and he was smart enough to know that he would only let me snooze him when I “confirmed it with an Alexa-timer.” Shadow knew how to wipe his feet when he came in the house from being outside. He could tell when I was having a rough day and he would sit right in front of me and “let” me feel better by brushing his beautiful coat. Just like a shadow, Shadow was always there. Not just behind either. Along my right side, my left side, and in front. He was always there. Always here. He loved my family and friends and was a master at putting on the “eyes” to get anyone, anywhere to rub his big head. He was a gentle boy and if he didn’t like you, something was wrong with YOU (unless you were the mail-carrier)!

Shadow had a step-daddy, grandparents, aunties and uncles, God-sister and brother, and Godparents. While I was “home” for him, his Godparents were definitely “VACATION!” As his Godmom was by herself for a few days and I was super-busy, she saw fit to come and get him for a 2-week vacation and Shadow was always ready to go! He got to have the most decadent breakfasts with her, multiple walks per day, unlimited tummy-rubs, constant attention, and “couch-priviledges” which he never had at home. I thank God with my every fiber that he was with his god parents and not home alone when this sickness came to him.

Shadow’s breed was prone to having rapidly-growing masses just under the skin. He had a few surgeries in the past and I held my breath each time and was grateful that they were all benign. This mass was not like the others; internal, out of sight, and growing where we couldn’t see it and he couldn’t feel it. This cancer, a splenic hemangiosarcoma, reveals itself by rupturing internally causing internal blood loss, where you still can’t see it. He just became too weak to even move. F--k cancer.

Thank you to everyone who was there with us yesterday as he prepared to go over the rainbow bridge, those making sure I could be away, those praying for us near and far. Your prayers and love was felt by all.

I am forever his Mommy, and he is forever my baby. Yesterday, everything happened so quickly, and I had to make the hardest decision a pet parent ever has to make. My heart is truly broken, and wish this breathtaking pain on no one. But I Thank God that I am experiencing it, because it means I had him…. for a long time… for most of his life.. and I love him and he loved me.

Once upon a time my heart wasn’t broken and now it is because a stray loved me so.

Rest peacefully, my beautiful boy.
Mommy loves you forever. 🐾💔